So for once the meteorologists where right about the weather. I am sitting in bed at the moment hearing the rain pour down and hit some sort of metal can outside my window. The sound is quite relaxing actually, hearing the ping of raindrop on metal. I love the rain although sadly today I could not enjoy it as much because I am somewhere between being sick and being good. Either way though I love the rain. Starting with the smell of it which I know may sound weird but when it rains, the air just smells so clean and earthy, if that is even a word or possible. Also it just makes it seem as though everything, your problems, your insecurities, your instabilities, wash away. If only that were really true but oh well we can only dream. My favorite part about the rain is that it is so much fun to dance in. I love just getting totally soaked to the bone and having that child-like feeling capture me once again. But sadly the rain can also be quite scary. It can cause accident for those who are not cautious when driving in the rain. Those very same people who almost cost the love of my life his life. Thankfully he knew just what to do to avoid that tragic event or I would have been devastated! The rain though has made me think quite a bit though of just how life is. How it is symbolic of so many things in life, such as new beginnings, fresh start, you know. Speaking of which my ex keeps insisting on a friendship with me and while in the past I would have gone along with it, I am in a new place where as good as were the memories we had, I do not want to continue my friendship with him. For one reason or the other it just feels off and forced. I feel that maybe he sees that I was the only one who truly cared for him when we were together and while I feel great sadness that he has no one to turn to, I also see that I should not be the solution. He is a nice guy, but it just feels like too much water under the bridge and I feel we do not really have much to say to each other. I'm not the type to push people out of my life or just drop them just like that, but through experience and some thought, I have seen that some people are just better off out of my life than in it. I hope eventually he gets the message that things are just better off with us not being friends than to keep forcing it to work out. I have my new man now and I intend on keeping it that way so long as I am happy and feel loved which I am and which I do! Hopefully the rain will just wash this little annoyance away and both he and I can get on with our lives. Mostly him because I already have. And all I want is to dance in the rain, smile, and be with my baby!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Hi, my name is Astrid....just thought I'd introduce myself. Not filled with many wise thoughts, not even nonsense thoughts today or not any that really come to mind which is really what this blog of mine will be about. I'm pretty new at this actually. But I do tend to never be able to turn my brain off...it's quite annoying actually. It's the main reason to as why I can't ever fall asleep at decent times or even though I can barely keep my eyes open. So I guess for now I'll give you a little taste of the kinda girl I am. It's always hard to describe yourself, or at least for me it always is. You see I find labels a bit useless or at the very least misleading often times. Who is to say that one label describes one completely? But I guess they are there for a reason; to narrow down the descriptions. So I will describe myself using what most people have used to describe me and a little of who I THINK I am. So basically I am a unique, sometimes quirky, sweet yet feisty, tiny ball of energy. I love being a contradiction because honestly I think most of us are, proving how labels are misleading sometimes. Anyways I am the kind of girl that goes with the flow most of the time, but also sets her limits and has her threshold for just how much bull she allows into her life. I laugh at anything and everything because well laughter is the best medicine in my opinion. I am the kind of girl who lives to live and not necessarily to find a purpose, meaning that even though I do think there is a purpose for every one of us, I do not search for it like its all I need to do in this world. Rather, I live and try to find it through my experiences and adventure. I believe that love exists in every one of us and is what unifies us. Without it, we would be unable to experience the hardships life puts us through. I am happy to have found such great love recently with a boy that I honestly think is more than I could have ever wished for. And I am glad that after some heartbreaks I have found the ONE. Yes I am young, but I believe that love does not discriminate against anyone. I am also a believer that music and film and culture and art help heal our wounds. I love music and art and film. And now I am rambling like I always do and have lost my train of thought. Anyways back to what my blog is about I guess. Its just really a place where I can write my thoughts no matter if people choose to disagree with me or not. Anybody is welcome to leave comments or questions, and also advise. But please....if you are gonna be an asshole, you'll get a bitch. Anyways a tout a l'heure (that means til next time.....in French....well close enough).
Oh and remember, life is a series of ups and down. It can be beautiful and it can be messy. Life is a beautiful mess <3!