Astrid*Stars: Rain!

Monday, January 18, 2010


So for once the meteorologists where right about the weather. I am sitting in bed at the moment hearing the rain pour down and hit some sort of metal can outside my window. The sound is quite relaxing actually, hearing the ping of raindrop on metal. I love the rain although sadly today I could not enjoy it as much because I am somewhere between being sick and being good. Either way though I love the rain. Starting with the smell of it which I know may sound weird but when it rains, the air just smells so clean and earthy, if that is even a word or possible. Also it just makes it seem as though everything, your problems, your insecurities, your instabilities, wash away. If only that were really true but oh well we can only dream. My favorite part about the rain is that it is so much fun to dance in. I love just getting totally soaked to the bone and having that child-like feeling capture me once again. But sadly the rain can also be quite scary. It can cause accident for those who are not cautious when driving in the rain. Those very same people who almost cost the love of my life his life. Thankfully he knew just what to do to avoid that tragic event or I would have been devastated! The rain though has made me think quite a bit though of just how life is. How it is symbolic of so many things in life, such as new beginnings, fresh start, you know. Speaking of which my ex keeps insisting on a friendship with me and while in the past I would have gone along with it, I am in a new place where as good as were the memories we had, I do not want to continue my friendship with him. For one reason or the other it just feels off and forced. I feel that maybe he sees that I was the only one who truly cared for him when we were together and while I feel great sadness that he has no one to turn to, I also see that I should not be the solution. He is a nice guy, but it just feels like too much water under the bridge and I feel we do not really have much to say to each other. I'm not the type to push people out of my life or just drop them just like that, but through experience and some thought, I have seen that some people are just better off out of my life than in it. I hope eventually he gets the message that things are just better off with us not being friends than to keep forcing it to work out. I have my new man now and I intend on keeping it that way so long as I am happy and feel loved which I am and which I do! Hopefully the rain will just wash this little annoyance away and both he and I can get on with our lives. Mostly him because I already have. And all I want is to dance in the rain, smile, and be with my baby!

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